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7 Things that will not Change Just Because You're Planning Your Wedding 

May 08, 20236 min read

You’re engaged!! Congratulations!!

 

Oh, this is the time of life that…well, quite frankly…has its magical moments! And a few stressful times as well. In order to help you retain the joy and excitement of planning you wedding, we’ve compiled a list of things that simply won’t change just because you’ve added planning a wedding. We’ve also added some tips to help lessen your stress level and get it all done!

It’s best to know going into this season so you can prepare!

1.       Your job. Nope, we’re sorry, but it’s just not going to happen! You still have your regular work routine to include in your schedule. We wish, too, that you didn’t, but such is life!

Our tip: use your lunch break to accomplish tasks that you need to during the work day. We call this a “working lunch” and with a little pre-planning, you can accomplish a ton! This time can be used to make calls, follow up with vendors or other details that you have on your phone or laptop. Remember to check tasks off your list and make clear notes as you go!

2.       Financial obligations. Yeah, again, sorry about that! The bills keep coming, so if you’re using your budget to pay for your dream day, you’ll want to have a plan for your expenses. There’s nothing worse than having too much month left over at the end of your paycheck—except when you need to pay for wedding expenses.

Our tip: talk about the budget up front and often. If you need to look for deals, don’t be afraid to search the online Socials and re-sale spaces for what you need. Before you do that, have a clear vision (see our blog post about using Pinterest to figure that out!) Have ‘Budget Meetings’ with your fiancé, your parents or whoever else will contribute financially to your Day.

3.       Social Obligations. Nope. Those don’t change either, though some you can bow out, you don’t want to give up everything during your engagement. Those friends/family/co-workers will likely be invited to your parties and/or wedding, so you’ll want to attend theirs. And don’t give up Holidays or special family occasions. Honestly, you’ll need the break.

Our tip: Attend what you can, and while you’re there, turn “off” the dynamic wedding planner you’ve become. Be present and enjoy the outing. When others bring up your impending nuptials, chat if you want, but if you don’t, tell them that you’re here enjoying the day and you’d love to get together at another time. Having said that—make note of anyone who offers help! If you can take them up on their offer, set a time to meet and chat. It might save your budget, your stress level and your day!

4.       Your habits. This is important. We know about all of the books, planners, websites and apps available. IF you use these implements now, you’ll use them as you plan your Wedding. If you don’t, think through why you don’t and what would work for you.

Our tip: Think through what you use to organize yourself currently, and how you can modify that practice to keep you organized and moving forward as you plan your Day. We’ve worked with couples that use planners (look for ours in early Spring ’23!), some who use notebooks full of lists, some who use the app on their phone. In order to save time, money and your sanity, choose something that keeps you moving forward.

We don’t have a specific recommendation because we understand this process, and we understand that although it’s the same, it’s vastly different for each couple. Some of our team is Neuro-diverse, and a planner seems like a jail sentence (even if I am the one making the plan for myself!). That person does better with a task list that includes deadlines to check off. Personally, this author loves a good planner and owns quite a few….I have good intent, but terrible follow through unless it’s specifically for a project. That’s when I shine with a planner.

The point is to organize your tasks in a way that YOU understand, will be successful using and won’t make you feel guilty because you missed a few tasks (but be sure to add those tasks to the list so you can check  them off!)

5.       Your relationship with your fiancé. You’re still the same lovebirds you once were, but now you’re planning you wedding. Together.

There will be conflict. There will be tears. There will be joy. There will be laughter.

Our tip: Remember, you’re doing this together-for a lifetime. The goal isn’t the Wedding, the goal is the Forever After. Incorporate what each of you wants into the day, and also-this is important, so listen carefully (maybe read this part aloud)-planning, running errands, making choices, paying the bills—this is for BOTH of you. You are not alone on this island. Your fiancé is just as responsible. Just as excited. Just as in love. Share this time together. It sets the tone for your married life. Balance and shared responsibilities. A key to success-in planning your wedding, and in life.

6.       Time. Nope. Can’t change this one either. It just keeps moving forward. So, with that in mind, have you given yourself enough time to make a plan? Do you have limited time and maybe need to cut out some extras?

Our tip: Grab the freebies on this blog page to start making your plan. You can see the task list (it’s broad/general to start) and what needs to be accomplished. If you have a few months to plan your wedding, do ALL of the things that lead up to that month first. THEN begin with that month. This will keep you on track toward success, and focused.

If you have more time, you can take it slower, but get the biggies taken care of. The gown, the photographer, the venue and the food. Those are the vendors who book the quickest, and the gown you’ll want to order in advance, but not so far ahead that you hate it a year later when you try it on.

7.       Family relationships. They are what they are, and having a wedding won’t change them….though they may endure a bit more stress.

Our tip: Include family and friends through the process that you can count on. Those who bring you joy. Surround yourself with supportive people right now. Leave the others to themselves.  You don’t need the additional drama, negative emotions or stress. It’s OK to not include people who bring you down right now. They can attend parties (if you invite them), but they do not need to rain on your parade. If you know someone like this and are thinking, “yeah, but they’ll tell everyone, then that will be a thing…” I’d like to say, it’s not easier for YOU if you just include them. They’ll talk anyway. You can word “no thank you” in a number of ways when they offer to help, or go with you to choose your gown, or tastings….You have a limited number of spaces for these activities, and they’re reserved for the people who bring you joy.

Of course, there are more non-negotiables and reading through the list, I’m certain you can think of them. The one thing to remember is that this time will be full of chaos, excitement, fun, frustration, joy, tears, contentment, promise and hope for the future. That, my friend, is our hope for you. That as you plan your wedding, you take the time you need to make this journey with hope and with purpose.

Happy Planning

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Corri Lewis

Corri has been planning weddings and events for over 3 decades and has authored 4 books (keep an eye open for book #5!) She loves everything about weddings--and, as her husband says, 'can squeeze a dollar out of every nickel'! She is a DIY'er at heart, and loves to create beauty on a budget!

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