Overwhelm: How to Face it and Make it GO Away!

Planning your wedding will be the most fantastic, interesting, exciting and overwhelming thing you’ll ever do! And I’ll start out by telling you—it’s SO worth it! It IS!!

But if you’re overwhelmed right now. Do you still believe that planning your wedding is the BEST?

Probably not, and that’s OK!

People deal with overwhelm in many different ways. Are you extra tired? Trouble sleeping? Sleeping too much? Upset stomach? Nervous energy? Too many ideas? No idea? Headaches? Scattered and unclear what to do next?

Yep! You’ve come to the right place. First off, I want you to grab a notebook and a pen, or pull up your Notes app on your phone.

Now, take a moment to close your eyes and breathe. In for 8 seconds, don’t hold it, release for 10 seconds. Do that a few times.

Did a thought pop into your head? WRITE IT DOWN. Get it out of your head. Go back to deep breaths for a moment.

Right now, you probably need to be purposeful about self-care because you’re overwhelmed. Daily life can be overwhelming, and adding ‘Planning the Perfect Wedding’ to your already busy life is understandably sinking you right now.

I’ll share some of my tips with you, as a “previously unorganized person” who has had to adapt and maintain because I just love my chosen profession—and it INCLUDES OVERWHELMING DETAILS. I used to lose my keys on the daily, forget to eat, drive somewhere only to find out that I’ve ended up somewhere else. Late. I was ALWAYS late!

You get it. I was very unorganized. So, I had to do something about it.

One thing I know I need is to go Old School with a pen and paper…but that’s not entirely true. I need ALL the pens and a notebook. My brain won’t see boring blue or black ink. I need orange, turquoise, red and green to spice things up. I’ve included a picture of what my notes look like—and truly, this is the only way I got through college! My brain retains what I actually write onto paper. I can type for hours, only to forget what I’ve written and have to re-read the entire thing.

My notebook fits into my Handbag so I can write in it when I have a thought. I also carry sticky notes, and you’ll see how I use them to organize my life in the training video under “Building Our Your Timeline” inside the course. Sticky notes are life.

You’ll need to figure out what process works best for you to get the information from your mind into a way you can organize and remember. Whatever way works for you already is the way that will work for you in planning your wedding.

OK. So why the note taking? I’m glad you asked. Take notes about the things that are bothering you. The things you keep forgetting—and that keep you up at night.

Pro tip: I leave a notebook on my bedside table so when I’m obsessing about something and can’t sleep, I write it down. That way, I won’t forget it in the morning and I can go back to sleep. I’ve done this for decades, and I’ll tell you, it works! It works so well, in fact, that I wake up in the morning to look at my list and my “important” and “obsessive” thoughts that keep me awake at night are things like, “Buy butter”, or “Call your sister” (that one’s a given because we talk every day. Why it would keep me up at night is a mystery!)….sometimes I get a good one like, “Call your sister about (something specific)”.

My mind can be organized and in working order all day long, and the minute I close my eyes, it’s got so many important details!

If you’re overwhelmed because you’re just starting this Wedding Planning process, grab the freebies on this website. They’re designed to get you started. With them, you can come up with a timeline and a plan. (if you want more help, join the TRIBE on Facebook, follow us on Instagram, or join the course—each is designed to support your journey and make this process as painless as possible!)

After downloading the resources, how do you keep yourself organized?

Well, I told you how unorganized I used to be, and I found some tools that work for me. Honestly, I used a color-coded calendar to raise my family, and again when my husband was diagnosed with a TBI. It’s visually appealing, and at a quick glance I know what to do, or at least the level of commitment it will take.

I also made a routine for myself. This is especially important when adding something new to your life. I have some silly examples, but if I don’t make time, I don’t do whatever “it” is. For example, I take 2 hours on Thursdays to tackle correspondence. I’m ‘Old School’, so I still send happy snail mail. But I also use this time to pay bills, follow up on appointments or paperwork that’s undone. I have the time blocked into my calendar, so I don’t put it off. This is also the time that I take the notes that have piled up around me and put them into an organized system, or ‘where they belong’. I dump my notes (digital or paper) into a word doc then sort from there.

Do you see what I’m saying? Blocking out time to do ‘wedding stuff’ helps get that stuff done. But what do you do when you’ve got the time? Well, that’s when your list comes in handy. The list that you carry with you, the list that you’ve made from the Freebies here, the list that is weighing you down.

Maybe one Focus Block (the time you’ve set aside specifically for Wedding stuff) you get yourself organized and your list becomes sub-lists or micro-tasks. If you have bite sized pieces, it’s easier to digest.

For example, you have on your list, "Wedding Invitations". This is broken down into tasks as follows:

• Design Wedding invitations

• Have them printed

• Order the correct number

• In order to do this, you need your guest list with addresses

• Buy Postage

• Address Invitations/RSVP cards

• Mail Invitations

This is a basic list of the tasks, but you can see that not every item on the list will take hours or days. Some are a matter of minutes that you can accomplish easily (like add 'buy postage' to your grocery list for a quick win!)

Here’s another tip that I use to help motivate me. I have a “To-Do” list, and a “TA-DA” column! If you’ve read my blog, you know this already….but it REALLY works! Checking items off the list makes us feel like superstars!

Pro Tip: if you do something that’s not on your list, ADD it and check it off! You’ll be SO proud of yourself!! Plus, you deserve the dopamine hit!

Also, with a comprehensive list (remember ‘micro tasks’?), you can DELEGATE! Those people in your life that want to help but don’t know how will be able to quickly choose the tasks that best suit their skill set. Things like, “get stamps”, or “address invitations”, or “arrange flowers” can all be assigned to someone else-or can INCLUDE more people than just you! Make it a party (check out other Blog posts on how to create community as you work together on your wedding! I think this is SO important-and there are so many missed opportunities to do this!)

Delegating some of the tasks will empower you to take on the bigger chores, like, say-choosing your wedding clothes, or colors, or food…..the tasks that only you and your beloved can take on.

Getting yourself organized and delegating to others will also relieve you from decision paralysis. If you are not over burdened with plans, then it’s easier to see your vision.

Remember, EVERYTHING for your wedding MUST align with your vision.

If it’s not a “Heck YES”, then it’s a definite “NO”. We’ll talk about that in another blog post.