How to Include Your Partner's Parents in Wedding Planning: 10 Meaningful Ways to Build Family Bonds

Planning your wedding isn't just about celebrating your love-it's about blending two families into one. Including your partner's parents in your wedding planning process is both an obvious necessity and a delicate balance. These future in-laws want to be included, and they absolutely deserve to be, since they'll be part of your life forever.

As someone who has experienced both sides of this dynamic-being both a Mother of the Groom and a Mother of the Bride, I can tell you there's a significant difference in how included you feel in each role. Being the Mother of the Bride feels like being part of the core planning team, while being the Mother of the Groom can feel like being left out of the loop. And let me be clear: this usually isn't out of malice, but rather simple oversight during the excitement of wedding planning.

This guide is dedicated to helping you include your partner's parents in meaningful ways throughout your wedding planning journey, creating stronger family bonds that will benefit your marriage for years to come.

Why Including Your Partner's Parents Matters for Your Marriage

When your partner's parents feel included in your wedding planning, they're more likely to be open to your presence in their family. This inclusion sets the foundation for positive relationships that will support your marriage long after the wedding day ends. Remember, developing this relationship is one of the keys to your own happy marriage.

10 Meaningful Ways to Include Your Partner's Parents in Wedding Planning

1. Welcome Their Financial Contributions (Within Comfort Zones)

The Opportunity: If your partner's parents are willing and able to contribute financially to your wedding, graciously accept their generosity while respecting their budget boundaries.

How to Handle It: Have open conversations about what they're comfortable contributing to, whether it's specific wedding vendors, reception costs, or particular elements they're passionate about. Always discuss budget limits upfront to avoid awkward situations later.

2. Invite Them to Major Wedding Planning Appointments

The Opportunity: Include your partner's parents in significant wedding planning moments that create lasting memories.

Key Appointments to Consider:

• Wedding dress shopping - Their input and presence can be incredibly meaningful

• Venue walk-throughs - Let them see where their child will get married

• Catering tastings - Food is often a shared passion that brings families together

• Vendor meetings - Include them in decisions about photography, flowers, or music

Pro Tip: Give them advance notice and let them know their presence would be meaningful to you.

3. Plan Regular Wedding Planning Brunches

The Opportunity: Create informal settings where wedding planning feels like quality time rather than work.

How to Execute: Schedule monthly or bi-weekly brunch gatherings where you can discuss wedding progress, share ideas, and get their input on decisions. This creates a relaxed atmosphere for family bonding while keeping them informed about your plans.

4. Include Them in Pre-Wedding Celebrations

The Opportunity: Wedding showers, engagement parties, and other pre-wedding events are perfect opportunities for inclusion.

Ways to Include Them:

• Invite them to wedding showers and bridal showers

• Include them in engagement party planning

• Ask for their input on guest lists for these events

• Let them help with decorations or food preparation

5. Create Wedding Planning "Workshop Time" Together

The Opportunity: Turn wedding DIY projects into bonding experiences with your partner's parents.

Project Ideas:

• Creating wedding centerpieces or decorations

• Assembling wedding favors

• Crafting wedding signage

• Making wedding program booklets

• Preparing wedding welcome bags

These hands-on activities create opportunities for conversation and collaboration while accomplishing wedding tasks.

6. Invite Them to Help with Wedding Invitations

The Opportunity: Addressing wedding invitations is a time-consuming task that becomes more enjoyable with help.

How to Organize: Set up an "invitation party" where your partner's parents can help with:

• Addressing envelopes

• Assembling invitation suites

• Adding postage and seals

• Organizing RSVPs and guest information

This task gives them a direct role in your wedding communication while creating quality time together.

7. Ask Them to Host Wedding-Related Events

The Opportunity: Give your partner's parents ownership of specific wedding celebrations.

Events They Could Host:

• Wedding shower or bridal shower - Let them take the lead on planning and hosting

• "Getting to know you" BBQ or brunch - Perfect for blending friend groups and families

• Rehearsal dinner - A traditional role that many groom's parents appreciate

• Post-wedding brunch - A relaxed way to extend the celebration

Important Note: Make sure they're genuinely excited about hosting before asking, and offer to help with planning and costs.

8. Shop for Their Wedding Attire Together

The Opportunity: Turn their outfit selection into a bonding experience while ensuring everyone feels confident about their wedding day look.

How to Approach This: Ask if you can accompany them to choose their wedding attire. This shows you value their appearance in your wedding photos and want them to feel beautiful on your special day.

Critical Styling Tip: When you choose your wedding theme and colors, allow your partner's parents to choose what they'll wear within reasonable guidelines. Instead of demanding a specific color like "gold" or "silver" (which can be nearly impossible to find), give them broader direction like "spring colors that coordinate with our orange and teal palette" along with color swatches. This approach is much more manageable and less stressful for everyone involved. ( a swatch is a sample of fabric from the colors you choose).

9. Add Them to Your Wedding Planning Team with Specific Responsibilities

The Opportunity: Give your partner's parents official roles in your wedding planning process.

How to Delegate Effectively:

• Assess their strengths first - What are they naturally good at?

• Match tasks to their interests - Do they love flowers, food, or organization?

• Give them ownership - Let them make decisions within their assigned area

• Provide clear expectations - Explain exactly what you need from them

Task Examples:

• Coordinating with specific vendors

• Managing wedding day logistics

• Overseeing decorations setup

• Handling guest accommodations

• Organizing wedding party coordination

10. Put Them in Charge of Something Important to You

The Opportunity: Entrust your partner's parents with wedding elements that matter deeply to you but that you can't handle yourself.

How to Choose the Right Responsibility:

• Make sure they're comfortable being in charge - Some people prefer supporting roles

• Match the task to their expertise - Play to their natural strengths

• Give them authority to make decisions - Don't micromanage their efforts

• Show appreciation for their leadership - Thank them publicly and privately

Examples of Important Responsibilities:

• Planning the rehearsal dinner

• Coordinating with out-of-town guests

• Managing wedding day transportation

• Overseeing ceremony or reception setup

• Handling special family traditions

• Making a Wedding Arch

Special Considerations for Including Fathers

While mothers often express a strong desire to be included in wedding planning, fathers typically have different participation preferences. Most dads are content to "show up at the appointed time and date," though there are certainly exceptions to this rule.

Ways to Include Fathers:

• Ask directly if they'd like to be involved in specific aspects

• Include them in venue tours and vendor meetings

• Let them help with logistics and transportation planning

• Invite them to wedding planning discussions about budget and timeline

• Ask for their input on music, entertainment, or other areas of interest

Remember, if you ask the fathers directly, most will tell you they're happy to help wherever needed. That willingness to contribute is often their preferred way of feeling included.

Building Lasting Family Relationships Through Wedding Planning

The effort you put into including your partner's parents during wedding planning pays dividends long after your wedding day. When they feel valued and included in this important milestone, they're more likely to:

• Welcome you warmly into their family

• Support your marriage during challenging times

• Create positive relationships with your extended family

• Participate actively in future family celebrations

• Become trusted advisors and friends

Essential Tips for Successfully Including Your Partner's Parents

Communication is Key

• Be clear about your expectations and theirs

• Discuss budget limitations openly and honestly

• Ask for their input on decisions that affect them

• Keep them informed about major wedding planning developments

Respect Their Boundaries

• Don't assume they want to be involved in everything

• Ask before assigning tasks or responsibilities

• Respect their financial limitations

• Give them permission to say no without guilt

Show Genuine Appreciation

• Thank them regularly for their contributions

• Acknowledge their help publicly (at the wedding, in speeches, etc.)

• Send thank-you notes for their specific efforts

• Remember their contributions when celebrating anniversaries

Stay Flexible

• Be willing to adjust your plans to accommodate their strengths

• Don't force involvement where it doesn't feel natural

• Allow them to contribute in ways that make sense for their personalities

• Remember that their involvement style might be different from your own family's

Take Action: Create Your Family Inclusion Plan

Ready to build stronger bonds with your partner's parents through wedding planning? Start by:

1. Having an honest conversation with your partner about their parents' personalities and preferences

2. Identifying specific areas where their parents might want to contribute

3. Scheduling regular check-ins to keep them informed and involved

4. Creating opportunities for one-on-one time with each parent

5. Establishing clear communication about expectations and boundaries

6. Planning inclusion activities that match their interests and abilities

7. Showing consistent appreciation for their contributions and support

Remember, the goal isn't to force participation but to create meaningful opportunities for connection. When your partner's parents feel genuinely included and valued during your wedding planning process, you're laying the foundation for a lifetime of positive family relationships.

Your wedding day is just the beginning of your journey as a married couple. The relationships you build with your partner's parents during this special time will support and enrich your marriage for years to come. Take the time to include them meaningfully, and watch how it transforms not just your wedding planning experience, but your entire family dynamic.