10 ways to Include the Parents of your Partner

This is both a touchy and an obvious topic. The parents of your partner want to be included. They deserve to be included, as they’ll be part of your life for the rest of your life.

Having been both the Mother of the Groom and the Mother of the Bride, I’ll tell you it’s much easier to be the Mother of the Bride. You feel part of the team as the Mom of the Bride. As the Mother of the Groom, well….I was not in the loop, and it hurt. Not out of malice, so let me be very clear. I think it’s simply an oversight.

So, this blog post is dedicated to ways you can include the parents in All Things Wedding…in list form.

1.       Include her checkbook (as much as she’s willing)

2.       Looking for your Wedding Gown/tastings/venue walk-through

3.       Brunch

4.       Showers

5.       Workshop time (WHAT? Oh, there’s a blog on that! Check it out!)

6.       Addressing invitations

7.       Ask her to host

a.       Wedding shower/Bridal shower

b.       Getting to know you BBQ or Brunch

8.       Ask if you can accompany her to pick out her wedding attire

Quick note here, if I can. When you choose your wedding theme and colors, allow your parents to choose what they’ll wear within reason. I have been tasked with a gold then a silver dress. Four counties, 113 stores and online were my shopping grounds and it was hard. I cannot tell you how many dressing rooms I broke down crying in, just trying to get it right for my new daughter-in-love. It was much easier when I was sent out for “some sort of spring colored gown. The colors are Orange and Teal. Please match or coordinate. Here are my color swatches.” One stop and I had my favorite designer gown chosen and bought.

9.       Add her to your Wedding Team and give her specific tasks (make sure they’re in her wheelhouse first!)

10.   Put her in charge of something you really want to accomplish, but can’t. Again, make sure she’s comfortable with being in charge. But if the shoe fits, put it on her and let her run with it!

And make sure you thank her. Developing this relationship is one of the keys to your own happy marriage. If she feels included, she’s more likely to be open to your presence in her family.

Dads don’t seem to need to be included as often as Mom’s do. For the most part, Dad is fine just showing up at the appointed time and date, though I’m married to a Dad who wanted to be very involved, so there are the exceptions. And, I’ll bet if you ask the Fathers, they would tell you that they’ll help just about anywhere. That’s how they will be included.